When dealing with conflict, I follow three simple steps to challenge my own story and gain clarity about what’s really happening. However, curiosity needs to be intentionally used if we want it to strengthen, just like a muscle. The antidote for allowing our stories to grow and gain momentum begins with our own curiosity. This simple but profound idea is transformational when we start to explore what it means when it comes to resolving conflict. ![]() The Gandhi quote, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world,” is on my office wall as a reminder that anything that I wish was different in the world – with my friends, family, and work colleagues – begins with me. If we want to be an agent of positive change, even during trying situations, it starts with us. In conflict, our ability to take in new information is reduced, and we believe our understanding of the person or situation is the correct one.īut the truth is, people are complicated and there is no magic trick for resolving conflict. We can easily become limited by our own tunnel vision. We look for evidence that the other person is in the wrong, we ruminate and relive the story over and over in our mind, and we may even share our story with others to gain supporters. ![]() In fact, it is easy to nurture the stories we hold about the other person and let them grow. This is problematic because rather than understanding the other person’s perspective, we retreat and rely on our own interpretation. ![]() The reality is that our personal narrative gives us a false sense of protection when we are working on resolving conflict – it acts as a buffer from the other person.
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